Part 2 - The Family Poet
The Family Poet
It used to be said of Paisley in Victorian times, with any gathering of “Buddies” (The local term for a native of Paisley), if a call was put out "Is there a poet in the Hall" the gathering would rise to a man. Anyway Robert Pender would have risen with the rest. He was known among the Penders as Rab the poet.
In 1904 he had a volume of his poems published, price 2/- (10 pence), probably by private subscription. While they don't quite rise to the level of Robert Burns’ expertise, they nevertheless give an indication of the quality of poetry that was on the go in Paisley in the latter half of the l9th century. The following snippet may indicate his genius:
A BIT OF ADVICE TO WIVES AND MEN
Ye wives an' men, gin ye'd always agree,
Jist tak' a bit advice frae me
An' ye shall find' thro' yer marrit life,
Ye'll aye be free o’ bitter strife;
Ye'll also find, in this sinfu' warl'
How to prevent many a quarrel,
As ye are marrit for better or worse,
The wife should always carry the purse
But aye when for siller the gove'nor seeks,
She never should try to put on the breeks;
To keep her ain place is the only safe plan,
Aye to be able to please the gudeman
Gin there be a clash at the heid o' the stairs,
Aye watch number one, min' yer ain hoose affairs,
Aye love ye yer neighbour as ye wad yer ain sel’
Ne'er let yer tongue be an auld clinkum bell.
Be kindly and civil to both friend an' foe
But yer family affairs let nobody know.
Noo a bit word for the gove'nor's ear,
Gin ye spend a' yer cash in gambling or beer,
Gin ye' when in company, be rather outspoken
Yer acquantance for you'll no care a doken;
But gin ye behave, an' yer hame no neglected,
Wherever ye go, ye'll be highly respected.
Robert appears neither to have smoked nor drunk and in fact on several poems decries both activities:
A TEETOTAL SPEECH
Noo, frien's, I've lately come to think
Gin folk wad jist gi'e up the drink
They'd aye hae lots o' ready clink
Guid claes tae buy;
In misery's sheugh they'd never sink
Nor helpless lie.
Gin ye quat takin' beer and wine
In dool despair ye'll ne'er repine;
Your humble hame wad brightly shine,
Believe you me;
On better things you'd feast and dine
An' happier be
Quat ye ance your fav'rite gless,
The brewer's trade wad soon get less;
You'd land him in an awkward mess,
And spoil his pleasure
But never mind, aye dae whit's best
Ye'll pouch the treasure.
He did however seem to realise the power of addiction that tobacco had on its addicts;
THE CHARMS OF TOBACCO
Thou most powerful, enticing weed
Thou hast peculiar charms indeed;
Wee bits o' callans no' oot the schule,
The wiseacre and the thochtless fule
In thy praise ha'e learned to speak,
And squirt on high thy famous reek.
Carters and cabbies, and statesmen too,
And the jolly farmer at his ploo'
The city masher and the millionaire,
And the idle loafer at the square,
With thy juicy substance in their jaw,
Are rapidly spitting their lungs awa'.
The enchantment of thy famous smoke
Has charms for every kind o' folk;
Yet, though thy fumes float through the air,
There are lonely hearts maist in despair
Who trusts in thee leans on a broken reed
Cunningly gulled by a deceptive weed.
Ye chiels wha smoke, if ye condescend to look,
Ye'll find written in the good old Book.
"Take a little wine for your stomach's sake",
But a little smoke ye are not told to take;
Ye'll find the good Book also mentions
"Man has sought out many inventions".
There you have it, even in Victorian times it was known that Smoking was bad for you. So much for the present day parrot-cry, "Nobody told us it was bad for our health". He would appear to have preferred Ayr for the family's annual trip "Doon the watter" and wrote several verses on the subject.
'MANG THE GENTRY AT AYR
Ance mair again we're doon the water,
A change of air we've come to seek;
The best o' lodgings we have gotten
Our bill, its fifteen bob a week
At Shanter’s Green we’re a’ residing,
‘Mang the very best of gentry folk;
Our landlady is a winsome body,
Aye ready for to crack a joke
Sae gin ye come to see our mansion,
We’ll mak ‘ a shakedoon on the flair;
And ye shall get a thousand welcomes
Wi’ the best of cheer, in dear auld Ay
Noo, a' ye chaps wha seek for pleasure
Pack up yer duds and come awa';
At Ayr there's lots o' winsome lasses,
The likes o' them ye never saw.
Whether "fifteen bob" (75p) was for each person or the whole family I leave for someone else to determine though I imagine the lodgings were "with attendance" i.e. the lodger had to buy his own food and take it back for the landlady who would cook it for him.
