A TEMPERANCE DEBATE
John Mucklewham and Robin Black
Ae winter nicht sat doon tae crack,
’Bout a’ the topics o’ the day
The noble worthies had their say.
The couthie chiels were aye contrary,
Ye ne’er saw a pair sae blithe and merry,
Sin’ they were ladies in their teens
The gallant pair had aye been freen’s.
John voted blue and Robin red –
Their party’s colour ne’er was hid.
And on that dreary winter’s night
They toed the scratch prepared tae fight.
John made a gallant dash wi’ a rigmarole
Hoo whisky aft did cheer his soul.
He said he wis like the maist o’ men –
Aye fond tae pree the tappit hen.
He said it aye wis fine and handy
In a secret corner a wee drap brandy.
When doon in the mou’, sair vexed wi’ grief,
It picked ye up an’ gave relief.
Robin then began to sermonize,
An’ the liquor laws to criticize.
John then began tae speak again
An’ brawly he could stan’ his ain.
In the finest language he boldly said
In favour of the liquor trade:
“ As lang’s I’ve siller for to spare,
For preachin’ folk I dinna care,
But min’ ye Rab, I’d like tae hear,
The harm that’s in a glass o’ beer.
Mony a ane ye’ve ta’en yoursel’
An’ you aye enjoyed them well.
Come on noo, Rab, dinna stand an’ think,
Let’s hear the harm that’s in the drink”.
“Weel, Jock, Ye brawly ken yersel’
It was the drink that killed Archie Bell,
It respects no person, rank,nor fame,
An’ drives mony a soul to sin an’ shame.
It drives mony a soul tae the asylum too,
An keeps the jile an’ puirhoose fu’.
The cash you spend in your Sunday club
Wad keep you snug wi’ claes and grub,
Your mutual improvement tippling scheme
Is nothing but an idle dream
Gin ye dinna watch what your doin’,
It’ll bring you quickly to your ruin.
Wi’ the barley you’d better part,
Or break your puir auld mither’s heart.”
“Weel, Rab, ma man, ’tween you and me,
I’ll bid fairwell tae the barley bree,
Wi’ Scotia’s famous mountain dew
I’ll gang nae mair stottin’ fu’,
Nae mair shall proud old Boniface
Mak’ me the picture o’ disgrace..
I’ll gang nae mair tae the auld ‘greyhound’,
An’ spend ma yellow, white and brown
Wi’ new ideas firmly wedged
I shall sign the temperance pledge.
This very nicht I shall abstain,
An’ never mair shall drink again.”
