THE CHARMS OF TOBACCO
Thou most powerful, enticing weed,
Thou hast peculiar charms indeed.
Wee bits o’ callans no oot o’ schule,
The wiseacre and the thochtless fule,
In thy praise hae learnt tae speak,
And squirt on high thy famous reek.
Carters and cabbies and statesmen too,
And the jolly fermer at the ploo’,
The city masher and the millionaire,
And the idle loafer at the square,
With thy juicy substance in their jaw,
Are rapidly spitting their lungs awa’.
The enchantment of thy famous smoke
Has charms for every kind o’ folk,
Yet tho’ thy fumes float through the air,
There are lonely hearts maist in despair.
Wha trusts in thee leans on a broken reed,
Cunningly gulled by a deceptive weed.
Ye chiels wha smoke, if ye condescend tae look,
Ye’ll find it written in the good old Book,
“Take a little wine for your stomach’s sake.”
But a little smoke ye are not told to take,
Ye’ll find the good Book also mentions,
“Man has sought out many inventions.”
